Gone for Good
by Lady Elena Dawson
Summary: Aria must let go of the one she loves after she hears the whole story. Ezria one-shot. Takes place in 4B.


**A/N: This one-shot first came to me when watching the PLLLive Ustream when Lucy talked about a certain scene where her Aria was restraind, screaming, and crying. Then it kind of turned into an EzrA theory drabble with Ezria and a sad ending. All I hope is that everything makes sense and that you feel at least a little sad at the end because that was the goal. I miss my Ezria. **

* * *

**Gone for Good**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ****_Pretty Little Liars. _**

It was two weeks after the shocking events in Ravenswood, and Aria was in her room doing something completely out of the ordinary: homework. Or she _was_ until Spencer called her in one of her "Guess Who A Is Now?" frenzies.

"Aria!" Spencer yelled through the phone receiver. "I'm telling you that Alison knew Ezra, and that diary Hanna stole proves it."

"Really?" Aria spat through the phone while angrily shuffling her papers around. She was about ready to punch something. "Just because Ali comes back from the grave like some saint, we're supposed to _trust _her? Ali _was_ and _is_ a manipulator, Spencer! A lot of people hated her. All that diary entry said was that her and some guy talked about Cece. That's _it_. It could be anyone."

"They weren't just talking about Cece," Spencer said as she flipped through the diary on her bed. "They were talking about how this guy had enough of Cece and Alison playing around with him in Cape May. Listen to this: 'He was obviously very mad at me and kept shuffling his hands around like he was trying not to slap me. Actually, he reminded me of the guy who once pulled a gun on me, except this time I wasn't the one telling him to break up with someone. Instead, he was the one telling me, and specifically Cece, to stop trying to get him on a date. Can you believe that crap? She just wanted _one_ date with him. What's the big deal? So what if he's hot, he's earning a degree in English back in Rosewood. _Such _a dork.'"

Aria had read that passage of Ali's diary a hundred times, and even though there was the slightest inkling in her head that kept telling her Ezra had been suspicious since the Halloween train, she couldn't and wouldn't believe it. "I can't believe you're actually accusing my boyfriend of being A, Spence. Does that mean you're accusing him of being the guy Ali was sleeping with, too? Should I comb through his closet for a pair of bloody board shorts that proves he tried to bury Ali? Or should I just ask him, 'Hey, Ezra, I know we've been dating for over a _year_, but did you know Alison'?" Sighing, Aria plopped down on her bed and rubbed her pounding skull. She was worried she was going to start crying again. "He can't be A, Spence. In that lair there were pictures of him on the wall. A knew that he had a son, and I saw Ezra break down when he found out. Would A have played me for so long, risking a career and a job for me? He's not, okay? He's not."

Spencer heard Aria's voice crack from the other end of the phone. She knew Aria was going through a rough time, but she needed to push her. But maybe Aria was right. Toby had a grudge against Alison that made him look bad, but in the end he wasn't. The only difference was that Ezra was older and had more means, such as money, than Toby did. And he was in Rosewood the entire time, studying at Hollis. It wasn't too crazy to suspect him.

"Look, I'm sorry, Aria," Spencer apologized. "But…I just have a bad feeling. I don't want you to see him today."

Finally, Aria lost it. "He's been through a lot, Spence!" she snapped, almost screaming. "With Malcolm and the court charges and that hand injury—"

"The same exact A hand I injured in Ravenswood!" Spencer blurted out, wishing she hadn't.

Aria's face paled. "W-what?" she stammered in shock.

Sighing, Spencer shut her eyes. To hear the hurt in her best friend's voice was killing her. "We were going to tell you, but then all that stuff with your mom and your brother happened. In Ravenswood I confronted A, and I sliced his left hand with a gardening tool. Then Ezra came to class with that hand injury, and I told Emily and Hanna my suspicions and we found that entry in Ali's diary."

Suddenly Aria's entire mouth was dry, and she found herself searching for the right words. Sniffling, she wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "I have to go, Spence," she croaked and hung up before Spencer could say anything.

Since Ravenswood, Mike had started dating Mona and her mom had returned from Vienna with news that she and Zack were getting married. With all the hustle and bustle, the only person Aria had to turn to was Ezra. Then Jake started saying weird things about Ezra having a dark side, and Aria, being on the defense, broke up with him. Looking back on it, she wondered why; Jake was sweet to her, and she'd ditched him for the ex she legally couldn't be seeing again. It was almost like she was in a trance, aching for that same romance her and Ezra once had and seeing it again in her grasp. They'd even relived a bit of that romance when Ezra took her to a cabin a few days ago to clear their heads from all the stuff that was happening in Rosewood. Everything Spencer and her friends were saying was just ludicrous.

But then Aria's memory reminded her of a certain conversation she had with Ezra in the cabin. "I bet I know one of your secrets," he had whispered in her ear, and Aria, lightheaded with giddiness, just whispered back mysteriously, "I bet you don't." Now her skin crawled when she reevaluated his tone of voice and how maybe it wasn't as seductive as her past self had made it out to be.

While she avoided Mike and Mona and tried to be happy for her mom as she did the wedding planning, she started seeing Ezra secretly on the side again. In Ezra's world he said he'd suffered a hand injury after trying to cook, which was believable for Aria because she knew he couldn't cook a decent meal for his life. Then he'd filed a law suit against Maggie for lying about Malcolm's paternity. And finally he revealed to Aria the most shocking thing of all: That he'd been the one to wreck Connor's car.

Aria had just exploded on him and his insanity. "I could protect myself, Ezra! What the hell were you thinking? Now you're going to be charged and lose your job—"

"Good," Ezra had said. He'd looked a bit shaken by the thought, but he had also been a bit relieved. "I was going to quit anyway."

"W-what?" Aria had stuttered, surprised. "Why?"

He'd taken her hand with both of his and soothingly massaged the back of it. "So we can be done with all this sneaking around again."

Today Aria was going to see Ezra before he went off to the courthouse to pay the charges made by crashing Connor's car. At first Aria had just gone with and accepted it, but now it dawned on her that Ezra had a violent side she'd never seen before. But he would never hurt her. He was the same caring, romantic Ezra he always was, and he loved her just as unconditionally as she did.

Didn't he?

…

Meanwhile, at Spencer's, the other girls were busy talking frantically about what they were going to do about Aria. "I think she's in danger, guys. Right after I got off the phone with her, I kept reading this diary and look what I found."

Spencer laid the diary in front of Hanna and Emily and opened it to a certain page. "Oh my God!" Emily gasped as soon as she read it.

_It's not like I'd never seen him before. When Aria was having her daddy issues, I'd wait outside Mr. Montgomery's office door while they chewed it out. A couple times I'd seen him walking by in between classes. One time he even stopped and talked to me._

_"__Do you go here?" he asked._

_"__No," I replied. "My friend's dad works her and they've been having some issues, so I'm just here as moral support."_

_Before he could respond, though, Aria stormed out of the office screaming, "I'll tell Mom, I swear I will!"_

_"__Aria," I whispered, and when I got her attention I indicated the guy standing in front of us. Mr. Montgomery then appeared at the door, smiled at him, and he walked away. I couldn't help but watch him as he disappeared. He was definitely something, that Ezra Fitz._

"Why didn't we see this before?" Hanna stammered, her throat all dry. "This whole time we were just assuming she could have been talking about Ezra, but she mentioned his name? That's it, we need to drive over to Ezra's and pull her out by her hair!"

Spencer and Emily shared a look. Spencer's stomach had gone sour; she, too, had truly believed that somehow they'd be able to disprove the whole Ezra theory, but now there was too much evidence to deny it. "Okay," Spencer huffed. "I'll drive."

At that same moment, though, Aria was unlocking the door to Ezra's apartment. But before she could even step inside, a cold cloth suffocated her from under her nose and without a sound she went limp.

…

"Shhh! She's awake!"

Groaning, Aria cringed as she opened her eyes. When she moved her hands to rub them, she was panicked to realize that her wrists were tied along with her feet—and that the ropes were so tight, she was bleeding.

The same voice she heard before, clearly that of a woman, sounded again. "Go talk to her. She trusts you more than me." Aria could've sworn she recognized it…

The room she was in was bare and dark and reminded Aria a lot of the box she was locked in at Halloween. Stomach churning, she whimpered and paled when she saw the only pieces of furniture—a rickety desk and chair set—on the other side of the room, a sharp, menacing knife patiently waiting on the table.

A lower voice that was much more masculine whispered something inaudibly to the girl. "No!" the girl shrieked, yet Aria still couldn't place the voice. "Now hurry, before he comes back! I'll try to hold him off. He's looking for me, right?"

Then it finally dawned on Aria: The girl was Alison. But what was she doing here? And where was "here" anyway? Ravenswood?The forest?

"I'm going now. You talk to her. Be careful." There was the sound of heels clicking away, and then that of a thud and the door to the room opening.

"Aria?" a male voice spoke reluctantly, and Aria adjusted herself on the seat anxiously. She was struck down by shock, though, when she saw the man's shadowy profile. "_Ezra?_" she gaped. "What are you doing here?"

In a situation like this, Aria would have expected Ezra to rush over and encase her in a calming hug while she cried into his shoulder, but he kept standing where he was.

In a black hoodie.

"Oh my God," Aria whispered when her brain made the connection. "So it's true. You're A." Silently she started to sob. Her heart shattered into a million irreparable pieces when she also realized it all was a lie then—their story.

"In a way, I am," Ezra admitted uncomfortably. Quietly he closed the door and strode over to the desk, picking up the knife and staring at the man in the reflection. "But that's not the whole story."

When he finally dared himself to look at Aria, he was hurt to see her cheeks tainted with the tears of betrayal and heartbreak. "He thought I knew something about Alison."

"What would you know about Alison?"

He couldn't look at her when he said the next line. "That she was alive."

It was like another punch in the gut. "Did you?"

Silence. "Yes," he spoke honestly. "I've been helping her."

"Why?" Aria screamed. "Why would you want to protect her? What did she ever do to you?" Inwardly, she was afraid to ask him if he loved Alison, and had seen Aria as a way to get to her—or replace her. They were all a part of the same pack, and Aria was the first one he'd seen. For all she knew, he saw Alison in her whenever he looked at her.

"She was so afraid," he explained, still not looking at her. "I met her at a party in Cape May. At first, she and her friend Cece really annoyed me, Cece especially. But by the end of the summer she ran into me. She was running from someone, and she was terrified. She said she made a horrible mistake and she feared her life was at stake."

Aria shuddered when she thought of poor Alison being buried in the ground, still breathing. "D-do you…know who this person is?"

"Yes," he responded simply.

"Who?"

However, Ezra didn't answer her question. "Cece wasn't exactly used to hearing no, and she was kind of hung up on me the rest of the summer. When Mrs. Grunwald took Alison to the hospital, Cece and I were the ones to take her away. We made a pact to protect her because we both knew exactly who she had tried to hurt her. When someone's in danger, especially such a young girl, you change."

Aria licked her cracked lips and turned her watery hazel eyes up to him. "Were you in Ravenswood the night we found Ali alive?"

"I was the man in the gas mask."

Aria's heart sunk. "The one who tried to hurt Spencer?"

"To be fair, she attacked me first. I had no intention of hurting her. My only job was to lead you away from him, because he wanted to hurt you. So I stole the tape and used that, and I trapped you in the tunnel while Alison and I watched him. He…he would have killed you if he saw you."

"But what about the A team?" Aria asked, thoroughly confused. "Are you a part of that too?"

"I am," he said dryly. "I was blackmailed into joining at Halloween. They needed someone with money. They threatened me with your life and with jail, so I joined. They don't know I'm working against them, though. And if he did he would kill me."

"You keep mentioned a man. Who is he?"

Sighing, Ezra strode over to her and got down on his knees. Gently he took her tied wrists and began sawing at the bonds. "He sent me in here to torture you," he whispered. Neither looked the other in the eye, just at Aria's bloody wrists. "He knows now that you know Alison is alive. As hard as I tried to keep you safe, it wasn't enough. But I had to keep playing along."

"Where are we?" Aria sniffled.

"Ravenswood, in the attic of the building you found the lair in." After he cut the ropes tying her hands, he worked on her ankles. Aria shut her lips and kept quiet, and Ezra continued, "His plan was to take you one by one. If you didn't say anything, he would have killed you and then kidnapped the next one. He's growing restless."

With a final saw, the ropes came undone and the tightness in Aria's chest loosened a bit; at least she was free to move around. Ezra scooted back and sat on the floor looking absolutely miserable…and guilty.

Slowly because of the pain, Aria slid off the chair and sat right in front of him, pulling her knees to her chest. "Finish the story, please?"

Finally Ezra found himself looking into her round, soulful eyes. She was only eighteen and already she was tired of the life she was living, constantly playing this game. And he was fully willing to give her the whole story.

"It wasn't A who killed Ian. One year ago I followed Spencer to the church where she fought with Ian. Alison begged me to follow her because she feared that Ian wasn't as sane as he appeared, and I did. I was the one who pushed him. I panicked when he was going to kill Spencer, and I just did it.

"Wilden wasn't that sane either, but you probably already knew that. He was bribed into joining the A team, too, so he was working for him. He killed Garrett because he knew too much, and he set fire to the lodge because he was told to. This guy Alison's afraid of, Wilden was his friend. But Wilden also knew his fiancée."

"Fiancée?" Who would marry this monster?

"Melissa," Ezra confessed, shaking his head as he looked at Aria. "Her and Wilden put you in the box at Halloween because Wren told them to."

"Wren?" Aria couldn't believe it. Wren was Board Shorts?

"They weren't supposed to hurt you because I joined, so it was someone else who tried to push you off. Wren thinks that Melissa is on his side and is as loyal as Wilden, but Melissa has been protecting you four and Alison this whole time, too. Her, Wilden, and Wren were there that summer at Cape May, and Wren had an affair with Alison because he thought she was over eighteen."

There came a thud from downstairs, and Aria jumped as the lump in her throat returned. "I can't believe it," she croaked, tears spilling out of her eyes. "This whole time we were trying to solve a murder that never happened, when we should have been protecting Alison from _Wren._" She met Ezra's eyes and softly said, "Why didn't you tell me?"

For Ezra, it hurt to see Aria there, bloodied and vulnerable, but it also hurt because of the lies he'd told her. Whenever she'd cried about her best friend being gone, he could have comforted her by saying she wasn't really dead, but instead he'd kept his mouth shut. Most of all, though, seeing her doubt all the time they'd spent together killed him the most.

Staring into her eyes right now, he was reminded of her warm body curled up next to his as they watched movies and ate takeout, and the way their hands fit perfectly together. He couldn't help but give a small, boyish smile to the woman in front of him. "Love is a powerful thing," he commenced. "It makes you do crazy things, Aria—" His voice cracked and he had to look down at his hands to keep himself from breaking. "—and I can't tell you how hard it was for me to let him do these things to you. If you would have died…" He couldn't finish the sentence unless he wanted to rip his heart out.

However, he was shocked to see Aria's warm, pale hands cup his own and squeeze them hard. "But I'm right here." Her eyes were watering over from tears, Ezra couldn't help but notice. She smiled weakly and brushed back his hair with a shaky hand. "And I'm not going anywhere."

_It's time_, Ezra thought, remembering the plan he made with Alison. _But first…_"I want you to run away with me."

Sadly, Aria sat back on her legs, taking her hands with her. "…What?"

"I know it's asking too much, butknowing me isn't safe. He'll see that I let you go and he'll hunt us down, Aria. And frankly…I don't want to be away from you anymore."

Biting her bottom lip, Aria shook her head. "I can't leave my friends and family."

It was going to be hard, but Ezra had to do it. Taking her hand, he enjoyed the way her skin felt against his own. He was going to miss little things like this when he left. "Then I have to leave."

"Leave?" Aria's heart broke again. "Where?"

"I'm sorry," he whispered, wiping the fresh tears from her cheek. "But I promise I'll keep you safe."

Eyes watering for the umpteenth time, Aria rubbed her bloody wrist and croaked, "Is that it, then? Are we done?" It took a lot of guts to ask her next question, but somehow the words flowed off her tongue. "Will I ever see you again?"

"I don't know," Ezra said as he got up from the floor and placed the knife back on the table. His own heart felt like it was being squeezed in his chest.

"Ezra," she whimpered. For a moment Ezra almost stayed just by the vulnerability in her voice.

"Leave, Aria," he commanded, a bit louder than he intended. He didn't want to do this anymore than she did, but it was for the best. "Before he comes back."

"Wait," Aria spoke up. Ezra stopped on his way to the door, a couple silent tears escaping his eyes. "I just wanted you to know that you were my first love, and that I never doubted you for a second."

Once he was out the door, he stopped before closing it and said, "Never for one moment was I not thinking about you." With that, he was gone, leaving Aria alone in the dark to wonder one thing.

What had happened to them?

…

She did see him again, though.

It was the day of her high school graduation and she'd spent the last few months looking for him everywhere: in the park, at the mall, in her dreams. She stood at the top of the school stairs where they'd said goodbye during the Malcolm incident, one hand holding her graduation cap and the other playing with the necklace she'd never gotten to return to him.

A week after she'd been kidnapped, Wren had been arrested and jailed. The hopeless romantic she was, Aria spent a whole month just waiting for Ezra to return. What did he have to be afraid of anymore? Eventually, though, she had to accept the fact that maybe their goodbye really was that—a goodbye, and not a later.

"You look beautiful."

Aria whirled around to find Ezra, her Ezra, at the bottom of the steps. Her hand dropped from her neck, and the corner of her mouth twitched. "Ezra."

As he walked up the steps to meet her, Aria felt like she was seeing a ghost. "You're officially done with this place," he tried to joke, but the betrayal still sat in Aria's heart.

"You didn't come back for me," she whispered, and Ezra's smile fell. "Even when there was nothing left to be afraid of anymore. I waited for you because I thought…I thought…" Her voice faltered, and she had to take a breath. "I thought you were the one."

"I couldn't come crashing back into your life again, Aria," Ezra tried to explain, but he knew he was just making excuses. "It didn't feel…right."

"You were right about something," she whispered sullenly. "There never was a happy ending for us." She was going to walk past him and back to her parents, but she decided against it. "I loved you a lot, Ezra. Maybe it was a childish love, but it really meant something to me. And I was willing to forgive you for all the lies you'd told." Ezra felt ashamed; no words came to his mouth. Aria sighed and kept talking. "We'd been living in a fantasy for so long, reality didn't exist until Malcolm came into your life. And even after that I still realized that this wasn't our own world anymore…and I think you realized that, too."

Ezra still kept quiet. She was right; he didn't come back because they were unable to live in their little blissful world again. The last breakup had been so bad, he was so certain that things just weren't meant to be like he'd originally thought.

"I guess I should give this back to you," Aria broke the silence by untying the necklace.

"No, keep it," Ezra finally spoke up. "It looks better on you anyway."

For a minute they did nothing but stare at each other, with longing or sadness neither could tell. Smiling weakly, Aria shrugged and said, "I'm sorry our plans didn't work out."

"Me too," Ezra croaked. His mouth was so dry, he was tongue-tied still.

Surprisingly she put a hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek, just like those many months ago. "Goodbye, Ezra." And she walked away.

It all came crashing back to Ezra and he stopped her. "Aria." She turned around, and he shoved his hands into his pockets. It would be the last time he'd ever look into those beautiful hazel eyes. "I love you."

Instead of running back to him, she grinned and turned back around. Ezra couldn't help but feel like she'd just let go of a heavy weight on her shoulders.

He watched her walk away, graduation cap in hand, and immediately he was slapped in the face by the future they could have had. They could have lived the rest of their lives watching black and white movies, eating takeout, and writing poetries and short stories about their struggles, hopes, and ideally their happy ending. But that didn't exist anymore.

He let her walk away, and there wasn't a day that passed that he didn't regret it. She was gone.


End file.
